I Lied About Knowing How to Cook. Now I’m Hosting Dinner
MENACE BY TESSA PRESENTS DEAR TESSA CHAOS, CHOICES & CONSEQUENCES LETTER NO. 009 | THE IMAGINARY CHEF INCIDENT She wanted to impress her boyfriend’s friends, so she casually mentioned that she loved cooking and could make practically anything from scratch. Unfortunately, they believed her. Now six people are...
You Stayed Too Long
There are moments in life when you know something has run its course long before you’re willing to admit it. You feel the distance growing, the excitement fading, or the quiet ache that tells you this chapter no longer fits who you’re becoming. Yet instead of leaving, you convince yourself to wait a little longer. …...
The Internet Has Turned Every Preference Into a Diagnosis
MENACE BY TESSA PRESENTS UNSOLICITED OBSERVATIONS OBSERVATION NO. 003 | COMPLETELY UNREQUESTED An unsolicited examination of internet psychology, suspiciously specific personality assessments, and the increasingly radical concept that sometimes people simply like different things. 01. The Observation I’ve noticed...
Distance Tells a Story
Distance rarely appears all at once. More often, it arrives quietly, disguised as busy schedules, delayed replies, postponed plans, or conversations that slowly lose their depth. At first, it’s easy to dismiss. Everyone gets overwhelmed sometimes. Life becomes demanding, responsibilities pile up, and relationships naturally go...
My Mom Invited My Ex to Thanksgiving
MENACE BY TESSA PRESENTS DEAR TESSA BLOOD, BESTIES & BETRAYAL LETTER NO. 008 | LOYALTY IS COMPLICATED Six months after ending a relationship she worked hard to move on from, she’s discovered that her mother has invited her ex-boyfriend to Thanksgiving dinner. Mom says he’s practically family, the breakup was...
My Mom Invited My Ex to Thanksgiving
MENACE BY TESSA PRESENTS DEAR TESSA BLOOD, BESTIES & BETRAYAL LETTER NO. 008 | LOYALTY IS COMPLICATED Six months after ending a relationship she worked hard to move on from, she’s discovered that her mother has invited her ex-boyfriend to Thanksgiving dinner. Mom says he’s practically family, the breakup was...
Peace Is a Priority
For a long time, I treated peace like a reward I would earn someday. I told myself life would finally feel calm once I lost the weight, found the right relationship, made more money, healed from my past, or accomplished enough goals. Peace always seemed to exist somewhere in the future, waiting for me after …...
Nobody Wants to Hear Your TikTok at Full Volume
MENACE BY TESSA PRESENTS PUBLIC NUISANCES PUBLIC NOTICE NO. 003 | STATUS: ON NOTICE An ongoing examination of unsolicited TikTok audio, public scrolling sessions, and the alarming belief that an entire waiting room should be forced to experience somebody else’s For You Page. 01. The Disturbance It begins in the...
The Text Message Isn’t the Problem
It usually starts with something small. A text goes unanswered for a few hours. They reply with fewer words than usual. Their tone feels different. They forget to send their usual good morning message. Suddenly, your chest feels tight, your mind starts racing, and you’re reading the same conversation over and over, searching for...
Case #002: Who Authorized the Five-Minute Voice Note?
MENACE BY TESSA PRESENTS THE CASE FILES CASE NO. 002 | STATUS: CLOSED An ongoing investigation into the unsolicited audio documentaries invading innocent people’s inboxes. 01. The Incident Report It begins innocently enough. Your phone buzzes, you glance at the screen, and there it is. A voice message. Not fifteen...
